Low Point of Readjustment

Today I feel as low as I’ve felt in a long, long time. I really wish I had stayed in Tonga for another year, because Iím not having any luck finding a future here at the moment. I’m not even making it to the interview stage for anything I apply for. In the beginning, I was going for ambitious spots, then I started to settle for things I was qualified for, and then I started applying for things that I was overqualified for. Nada. Nothing. I just don’t understand it! The economy is supposedly recovering from the way it’s been in the past year or two.  I’m glad I didnít have to suffer through that. 

Iím not going to give up, but Iím so unhappy right now. If I have to tell one more person that Iím unemployed, or borrow money from my little sister, or spend another month in this prison cell I call home, I will crack. If I have to cancel another gym membership because I can’t afford the dues past the trial phase (and don’t want to pay their ridiculous $180 registration fee), or ebay another one of my precious luxuries that I wasted my money on, or see another one of these stupid reality TV shows, I will scream. 

This is the longest I’ve been without a job since I was 15. Right now I’m considering working at the bagel shop where my professional life began a decade ago. It was one of the best jobs I ever had, and I learned how to sweep and clean toilets and do all sorts of chores that I never did at home. I loved it because it was constant work, and I felt good about it when I went home.

Iím also considering joining the army or the marines. Even though I hate the state of the war, I’d rather be fighting in Iraq then rotting here. 

I’m so frustrated. My new buddies here love to go to fancy bars where they get wasted and talk about getting into a girl’s pants, and where every girl thinks I’m trying to get into her pants and won’t even try having a worthwhile conversation. What the fuck am I doing here? 

Bitch session over. Carry on with your life. Just had to get that off my pompous self-righteous chest.

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